Review: You Suck: A Love Story

Title: You Suck: A Love Story
Author: Christopher Moore
Page Count: 328 pages
Publisher: William Morrow
Genre: Vampiric comedy
Copy for review compliments of the public library

50 words or less: What happens when Tommy and Jody of Bloodsucking Fiends fame are now both vampires, decide to make a go of their relationship, and try to find a minion? Hilarity, that's what. Good help is hard to find.

You Suck takes all of the good stuff that was present in abundance in Bloodsucking Fiends and, if anything, makes it better. All of the characters from the first book (the ones that didn't die anyway) are here- the turkey-bowling Animals from Tommy's gig as the night manager at a grocery store, the Emperor of San Francisco and his canine compatriots, Tommy, Jody, you name it, they're all back and in classic style at that.

Where this book really shines, though, is in the introduction and development of the new cast of characters, including one who is possibly my favorite narrator ever, Abby Normal. She's in high school, tragic beyond belief, a closeted perky person, and her narrative style reads something like this:

Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when you've been traumatized.

We get pages and pages of her journal, written by her, that kept the story moving and had me rolling in the aisles at the same time.

Seriously, I wasn't able to read this book in public because I kept laughing out loud and people were looking at me like maybe they should alert the authorities.

There are other new characters too- Blue, the appropriately named hooker the Animals pick up in Las Vegas. Jared, Abby's BFF and goth tragedy wannabe.

Anyway, Tommy and Jody are both vampires now, which means that Jody's only source of food (Tommy) is now off limits. Turns out they're both pretty crappy when it comes to fending for themselves as vampires because they don't really want to hunt people, they just want to have a ready supply of food. Enter William the Huge Cat Guy, with the cardboard sign quote that becomes the basis for many a running gag (I'm poor and my cat is huge) and Chet, said huge cat. This is all well and good except Jody's sire, ancient vampire Elijah, wants her back in a big way. Most of the novel deals with Tommy and Jody's simultaneous efforts to figure out how to be vampires, not get killed or arrested, and try to have a somewhat normal relationship or whatever would pass for normal under the circumstances.

Again, this is not the vampire book to read if you're looking for pouty teenagers or stalker high schoolers or angsty ancients. This is the vampire book to read if you want to get looks from people in the break room at work because you're laughing your ass off. As much as I loved Bloodsucking Fiends, it was one of the author's earlier books, and having had a long time in between installments in this series has definitely helped the voice and comedy and style develop even more. The differences between these two books are a testament to an author getting better and better with time.

It's hard to get into too many details about the story without just lapsing into a list of one hilarious line after another, but suffice it to say, this book takes aim at vampire tropes and the tendency of horror or action or romance or sci fi books to take themselves too seriously and hits them dead on; if you're suffering from an overload of tragic, brooding, perhaps sparkly vampires, then this will cure what ails you in a big way.

Although this book works fine as a standalone novel, why deprive yourself of the rapture of reading this entire series? Read Bloodsucking Fiends first, and know you have this book and the next one, Bite Me, to look forward to.

Overall Grade: A+